Random Tuesday Thoughts #1

I’ve been following Random Tuesday Thoughts for a while now. Today, in my current feverish delirium, and the fact that it is actually a Tuesday when I’m thinking about participating, makes it a no-brainer. No brainer is optimal way to blog today, since I have limited brain left because I’m pretty sure I regurgitated most of my brain either yesterday or the day before. I don’t know which day because the past five have been a blur of vomit, kleenex, saltines, and gingerale. Whatever minor lobe remains feels like it’s been whittled down by a cheese grater.

Virtual school is going well for Princess Sparkle, but being absent for three days has brought out her OCD. She wants to know exactly when all overdue work is now due. She’s afraid the school is going to use her absences as an excuse to really nail her ponytail to the wall. I can see the little wheels turning in her head and she’s probably thinking that now her chances of going anywhere but community college are blown, because that is how all schools are: they lie in wait to throw shoes at you because sitting back and waiting for shoes to drop isn’t nearly good enough. She can’t believe that the school is on her side. She asks me how I can be so sure, and I have no answer. The school is virtual. We’ve seen Wall-E. Truth is I don’t know what this means for Sparkle’s future.

Daughter one just came home from school with a fever. She wanted to stay at school because she’s just that way and doesn’t want to get behind, but her French teacher escorted her to the nurse and she has a fever of 101. The nurse who usually never lets anyone leave, sent her home.

How the hell did I, the ultimate underachiever have two kids that care so much about school? How did I, a poster child for adolescent irresponsibility in my own day, have two kids who are so responsible?

Which reminds me, I’ve got to come up with a better blog name than Daughter One. Princess Sparkle got a fun blog name. What to rename Daughter One? Dolly Belle?

Plumbers are the nicest people but they are definitely not at loss for words. The fourth one I’ve met this week just left. I think he said his name is Joe. Our plumber is famous! He didn’t seem to understand that I can’t talk for very long without losing my cookies, even though I’m in my robe and can’t get out of the chair. I kept apologizing for being so sick, as if he was an invited guest, and I wasn’t giving him this way too excellent money making opportunity to re-pipe my house. He spent what felt like a solid hour trying to engage me in good-natured plumbing banter, as if plumbing terminology is all the rage around here.

Princess Sparkle, Dolly Belle and I watched 4 hours of America’s Next Top Model yesterday. Brains are now not just gone or grated, but what’s left is severely rotted. We can talk Tyra, but not copper pipes, okay Joe? We don’t care about plumbing. We just want hot water and pressure so we can wash the vomit from our hair. Got it?! Think of all the Cover Girl and Pantene we could buy with the plumbing money.

The other day I tried to put Comment Luv on my blog. I thought it would be so nice and easy, but I was totally confused by it. All my comments went “Poof”, except for two, and they only showed up sometimes, if they felt like it. But now that I gave up on the Comment Luv, it appears as if all my top commenters spend every waking hour here keeping me abreast of their latest reactions to what I’ve said. I thought the comments were lost forever, but now they’ve apparently multiplied like bunnies or this virus we all have, but only according to this widget. These extra comments are like ghosts, record of which can’t be found. I love mysteries, but not this kind. I’m highly concerned no one new will ever comment because it sounds like I’m all set with a chatty contingency, but I’m not! I’m not mad about it though because at least my comments didn’t disappear forever. I’ve got to remove that thing. I’m Comment Hating it.

And the new Followers widget on Blogger – I feel as if I’m the one being followed. It’s ugly, and for some reason it puts my last name in whenever I follow somebody new. Do I “follow” or “sign in”? I’m still not sure.I think I’ve gotten rid of my last name, but I’m wondering if perhaps others can still see it? Also I find it disconcerting how my picture pops up at the top when I’m visiting a blog I’m following. Go away! This has all the markings of a Microsoft trick question with its double negatives. We are damned either way.

Oh yeah. Blogger so needs an Unpublish button.

Check out the Un-Mom for more random thoughts

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