In protest to this week’s plethora of bad news, I have come up with a very good plan. First, watch this video from the PS 22 chorus.
Don’t you feel much better now?
Then in order to stop the controversy swirling around the name of what has become known in recent days as “the swine flu,” I propose it be renamed the “WD-40 Outbreak.” This is much easier to remember than the recently proposed “H1N1 Flu Outbreak.”
Which brings to mind another question – Has anyone tried WD-40 yet as a possible cure? The magic can, as we know it at our house, is already bigger than duct tape in it’s multiple uses.
Next, in protest of the swine flu and all disease in general, I am buying some bacon lip balm. I believe that by smelling like something that should only be emitted from a frying pan on a Saturday morning, together we can take down all flu viruses in full WD-40 glory. How, you ask?
Through subtle use of olfaction, we will be saying, “WD-40 flu doesn’t come from lip balm, stupid!”
Potentially all disease will be eradicated as a result. But just to be on the safe side, watch above video enough times to be sure you know all the words. Remember: Bacon lip balm must be worn the entire time.
In effort to remove odeur de cochon, as well as maintain hygienic state in general, take a shower. I don’t usually sing in the shower, but today, in order to meet objective to personally take part in eradicating disease and save pork personal care products, we must!
You may now dispose of the lip balm. Unless, of course, you enjoy smelling like a Cracker Barrel.
Last, but not least, everyone must wash hands an additional 37 times a day for the next year or two, each time for the length of time it takes to sing the Eye of the Tiger in its entirety. Please note that you may need to rearrange your schedule.
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{ 19 comments }
I felt so much better when the leader of the free world reminded me to wash my hands. Not like he had anything better to do. Perhaps it means that my bailout package can include Purell. Or perhaps it means that my mom is qualified to run the country, too.
Haha! Finaly somebody makes sense with this flu thing!
Where can I buy some bacon lip balm? You could make millions with that, AND save lives!
(The video was wonderful! The exact opposite of my post today.
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I am glad it is swine fever and not caprine fever or I would fear for my little life…
Poor piggies. And it is not their fault at all.
The publicist drools for bacon. I have seen it. It is not pretty…
I was all prepared to hate that video, as I do most videos featuring children doing “cute” things, but I couldn’t. It was too great.
I thought we were supposed to call it “Mexican Flu” now.
Sending gollum out for bacon flavored lip balm and WD-40. And yes, I do feel better after watching those kids sing!
Strangely enough, I was whistling Chuck Mangione songs this morning in the shower.
Also…why would anyone want to rid themselves of l’odeur de cochon? I use bacon grease as a cologne.
I want to be in THAT choir! Awesome.
I’m thinking I’m immune to Swine Flu, as a Jew and all…
I want to be in THAT choir! Awesome.
I’m thinking I’m immune to Swine Flu, as a Jew and all…
Love this! I think the swine flu originiated at our house. It looks like pig’s flew into our house and made their sty.
And I thought only Duct Tape solved all the world’s problems!? ROFLMAO!!! You are so funny, I think I burst a blood vessel laughing so hard!
)
Dawn, it doesn’t even need to be with antibacterial soap!
ps, let’s see what we can do with the magic can soon!
vic, somebody beat me to the bacon lip balm idea. (click on it if you want some – it’s only $3.99! Glad video didn’t provoke an episode after last nite’s band event
Seay family, thanks for visiting again! I checked out your blog today. very impressive
Pricilla, I feel bad for the piggies too. I always think of Wilbur.
Shawn, glad it didn’t offend the child adverse demo! You call the flu whatever you want. We are!
phd yogurtry, you and I are now ready for anything!
TIMjenks, TMI!!!
Ann, I’m hoping the P22 chorus will let me in even though I live way out of district. I’m afraid as a pork fed southerner, I’m DOOMED.
Laurie, I’m pretty sure my house is a hotbed as well!
Sparky, WD-40 is an amazing product. Prepare to be wowed.
Cute kids!
I figured out today why the worry with the new flu… no one has had it. So no one is immune.
We would all be sick at the same time. Not good.
Mmm Cracker Barrel.
Sorry, I’m a little hungry right now.
That video was awesome.
OMG I’m so cracking up! I just posted a vlog entry on this very topic!!
HOOORAY for bacon lip balm!!!!!!!
Hahaaa…great post!
Especially when the University near our home has just this morning been shut down until Tuesday because of a possible outbreak of the Swine Flu. Not only that, my neighbor has all the symptoms of the same.
EEeeeek!
But now I feel better.
GREAT video – what a great teacher those kids have.
Sorry – not crazy about the idea of bacon lip balm. it’ll drive all the dogs in the neighborhood crazy.
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