My Plastic Bags Don't Mean I Don't Love You, Earth
The above picture sums up my Earth Day celebration. I bravely ran after a plastic bag in the Lowe’s parking lot that had escaped from the back of my car, risking life and limb and possible death by a veering pick up truck. It was windy and I was wearing a skirt, but I leaped into action without modesty. I had merely opened the hatchback to put the plants Sparkle and I bought in the back of my car. Even though I’m sure such a potential Earth Day travesty would never happen in the ranks of green gurus (they wouldn’t possess any plastic bags to begin with), I am proud to have minimized our carbon footprint.
Side note to Gwyneth: Walking three miles to Lowe’s and home again with plants and a thirty pound bag of potting soil wasn’t an option.
Side note to Oprah: Even though I tried to watch your Green 101 last year, I still struggle with remembering to take that organic cotton shopping bag with me to the grocery store every week. I guess it would have helped if I bought one.
Before I go on, so you don’t get any wrong ideas, I love Earth. But several hours before lovely flower buying expedition were spent staring at my blank computer screen wondering what to write today. In the background a media onslaught of do-gooding Earth lovers had taken over the airwaves. I grew tired of them. Not of Earth, but of some of the people I inhabit it with.
I endure super mothers who do things like plan green birthday parties with plates made from recycled yogurt containers. They essentially explain how they could not in good conscience live with themselves after experiencing the embarrassing horror of TWO garbage bags full of paper and plastic ware at the end of their little Justin and Jessica’s birthday parties.
I receive additional advice from several others on what I should do with wrapping paper scraps and old glass bottles and plastic bags. In the story that takes the prize for the most interesting and curious way to use the old, a woman uses books to make custom purses.
God love all these people. More power to them. But I am not like them and I don’t want to be either. It wasn’t until the past year or so that I could admit that.
So here I was on this Earth Day, feeling kind of proud of my new light bulbs and decent recycling efforts in recent years. I live in South Carolina. I’m pretty sure I’m ahead of the curve. Then I read:
“Oprah Winfrey was voted the greenest female celebrity in an Earth Day poll, the New York Daily News reports. Leonardo DiCaprio beat out Brad Pitt and Bono for the No. 1 male spot in the survey by GreenDaily.com and Bebo.com.”
Okay. I can deal with that. I think it’s a strange thing to poll. Who really knows? But here’s the part that blew the gasket on my gas guzzling Hemi (note, I don’t really have a Hemi, except metaphorically – just like the word:)
“On the other hand, Mariah Carey is least green, joining other laggards like John Travolta, who owns a fleet of private jets… Carey sank to the bottom by regularly flying her personal trainer from New York to St. Bart’s: “People saw that as an extravagance rather than a necessity and the consequences for the planet probably don’t justify it,” said GreenDaily.com’s editor-in-chief.”
My Earth Day would now possibly be spent by taking the hottest bath ever, followed by marathon shower, using only my most chemically- infused products from plastic containers. I’d then blow dry my hair on the highest setting, dress myself in clothes I will only wear once before washing and drying in real machines set on the highest settings. I would then come downstairs and gather every plastic bag that is stuffed under my sink. More than you could ever imagine would exit like clowns from a Volkswagon Beetle. Recklessly, I would dispose of them in our very large family trashcan.
When I was finished with that, I would write John Travolta and Mariah Carey fan mail.
Instead Princess Sparkle and I got in our minivan and drove to Lowes to buy flowers.
So many choices make both of us a little crazy. We get so excited and sometimes get paralyzed. Occasionally we leave empty handed, or more often with the something other than what we intended. I let Sparkle pick out everything today. She did a great job.
She planted them in pots immediately. Now that’s my kind of Earth Day.
I need Princess Sparkle to come over and pick out plants for me. I get overwhelmed too, and then I have to lie down next to the rhododendrons until the dizziness subsides.
I am so doing better than you, because I have, like, TEN cloth shopping bags. Which I never, ever remember to take with me to the store.
My favorite Earth Day memory is going to an environmental concert at an amphitheater. We hung around for a while when it was over, letting people filter out so we wouldn’t have to fight the crush of people exiting through the gates. As the grassy hill began to clear, I noticed tons of garbage strewn all over the place. Styrofoam cups and plates, paper napkins, leaflets…pretty much any type of trash you can think of. Maybe even used diapers. Who knows?
Gotta love irony.
Oprah is green!? I thought she was black?
We celebrated earth day by burning trash in the back yard. I want to put as much CO2 back in the air as possible. [lol]
I ate a small cupful of soil today in honor of the Earth. It was not good. I would love the Earth more if it tasted like cream cheese icing.
Oh jeez, was that today? Oh well.
Yay, Earth!
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Vic, PS would love to come live at Disneyland and pick out flowers. I’ll come with her and you and I will nap in the rhododendrons (are they yours?). I’ll even make you use your shopping bags, because I’m much better at preaching than practicing
Jeff, Earth Day and going green are just COOL. Or is it hot?
Sparky, Hah! Oprah is now “The Green Ebony Queen” There is a big forest fire near us here in MB and I’m wondering if someone set it in celebration of the special day.
Shawn, I’ve never understood why dirt doesn’t taste a little better. Where does cream cheese icing come from if not the earth?
Jen, Wooohooo!
Seay family, thanks for visiting. I’ll check out your blog soon!
I’m sick of Oprah telling everyone how they should be living. If I ever met Oprah, I would tell her to “suck it”. Okay, that’s off my chest. I love how you celebrate earth day!
I love green; green grass, green weeds, green trees. I eat them all. I don’t discriminate. Then I let it work its way through my four stomachs, I chew my cud. It goes back through again and I poop it out where it becomes fertilizer to grow more green grass.
I am the ultimate green machine.
I have a friend with 4 kids and absolutely no paper towels in her house (forget paper plates, cups or napkins). I try – really. Four kids and no paper towels?
At least she does have toilet paper in the bathrooms!
Princess Sparkle did a fabulous job!!
Lin, feel free to vent anytime! Thanks for stopping by
Pricilla, the whole day was for you then. We should all “go Pricilla”
Lilaphase, ??? no paper towels? I’ve been scratching my head all morning. Seriously.
Thinkinfyou, yes, PS did! I’m having a hard time getting her back into her schoolwork (she’s in a virtual school) after our Earth day boondoggle.As the more mature specimen, I, of course, am having no issues with getting stuff done
Great work. I’m not a big Earth Day fan myself. Seems a little hoity-toity, but maybe that’s just me. For another great take you might want to check this guy out:
http://jimsuldog.blogspot.com/
2009/04/earth-day-can-blow-me.html
How lovely. Indeed–you are so eloquent. I enjoyed your blog very much.
You did well to run after the plastic bag and to plant flowers!
I found an item that works better than the cloth or other recycled bags out there! …….:)
I have about five reusable bags for each of the two grocery stores in my town’ they’re black made of some plant material. But I kept forgetting them in the car and coming out of the store with more damn plastic bags. Then they started offering these GREAT new ones “that folds into its own mini-sack attached inside the bag. Once stuffed into its pouch, it measures only 2″ x 4″ x 2″, easily fitting into the palm of your hand and small enough to stash in a purse or pocket so you will always have one handy.” The description isn’t mine. I stole it from this site, where you can purchase online if your own stores aren’t offering their own with their logos, etc. I love ‘em. They stay in my purse and when I (of course) forget the other bags I just whip these out and no fuss, no waste.
Just sayin’
Chris, thanks for stopping by! I’ll definitely check out the link. I love the name of your blog… I was going to call mine Margorittaville at one point for around 5 minutes:)
Beth, Thanks!!
Lydia, Your eco-bag recommendation is great! I love that they fit in your purse… and they are cute too? I’m going to have a hard time not buying one this weekend!
PS to all: If you’re into it, please stop by this weekend and check out What I’m Not Buying This Weekend – my new meme.I kind of cringe using that word, but I guess it’s time to admit that is what it is.
Boys, you’re invited too – this could be in all our best interests. My husband thinks I’m nuts.
Ruh roh. I just let the entire day walk on by. I did plant some lettuce, though. And shopped my closet. Does that count?
moi, heck yeah it does. I can’t wait to see!
Oo flowers.
I wish I had a greenthumb. As it is, I usually end up killing my plants. I never MEAN to it’s just I guess I’m used to things YELLING at me when they want something. For instance, if my daughter is thirsty she’ll screech, “WATERRRRR!” or if my son is hungry he’ll tell me that he’s starving and that his stomach is eating itself.
The plant, well, it’s quiet. So I forget to water it. Eeps.
Oh and I currently have 3 cloth bags but I always forget to grab them when I leave the store. I need to start storing them in my trunk.
I’m with you on a lot of this! I do have and actually use my cloth grocery bags. But I detest the new light bulbs..filled with mercury as they are… and make your house look a weird green color…and I refuse to use them. I do find it a bit humerous that many ‘green’ celebrities fly in their private jets without giving it a second thought. And the fact that cows give off more co2 than all of us, is something we never hear. I love your writing…you have a gift!