First Day of Summer Break
It’s raining today. Apologies out to all the people who live somewhere where the weather is bad today, and were looking forward to doing something outdoors, but I think this is a good thing. Not because of flowers and droughts and stuff, but because I have a concrete excuse, to do exactly what I want.
For at least today, and probably many other days, I do not want to go to the pool and talk to people. Nor do I want to go to the beach. I don’t want to sweat. I don’t want to wear shorts or a bathing suit. My goal for the day is to stay cool, and sane and not have to wash my hair.
On the list of mustdos is only one thing: Keep Sparkle, Dolly and me fed and hydrated. Actually, Sparkle and Dolly no longer need me to accomplish this.
I’m never sure if there are other summer slackers like me even out there.
When the girls were young it took me many years to figure out that this is what I was. First of all, a summer slacker isn’t simply someone with a history of putting off their summer reading until the last minute. That’s just the foamy tip of a wave. For a summer slacker to thrive by contemporary social standards, it takes a village of very tolerant, loving people.
I spent most of my life, including a good decade of parenting, trying to defy nature. Because I thought it was the only path towards being acceptable before God, family and peers, I spent much time trying to be the opposite of a slacker. If I made plans and did them, I was not a slacker. And “not a slacker” equals “good.” If I behaved like an extrovert and meant it, I would become one.
The result was that I did what are recognized as many “good” mom things. Sometimes I was even good at it, I thought. Operative word here is “sometimes.” I’m pretty sure I fooled everyone but myself.
I would pack everybody up and go to the pool, to the beach, and the waterpark. Playdates would be arranged and carried out. I would be sociable for seemingly endless hours. In the background, the funky, “asppee, asppeee” noise of half empty bottles of sunscreen being dispensed on my fair children accompanies all of it. If I kept on doing these things, everything would be okay, I told myself. Rewards, in the form of adjusted, happy children and inner peace would come, right?
Just so you know, I don’t regret one minute of it.
But things weren’t without consequence. I grew small. The brunt of it came with the school year, on a tidal wave which starts to swell as soon as children are born and begins to recede sometime around high school:
In the scheme of things, someone has to avoid serving on committees, making costumes and baking for fundraisers. Trust me, there will always be enough alpha moms in any given realm. They may even bitch, or skillfully martyr themselves about how they are always the ones to do everything. Sometimes they may even point at you (behind back, duh) and say you don’t do enough. They may be really nice people, but don’t think the way you do. They think this is bad, while you value the diversity of it. You know redundancy sucks.
Now, unless I’m PMSing or didn’t get enough sleep, whenever I feel I’m being swept up into an agenda that’s an unnatural fit, I step back and take a deep breath. The breathing part is the most important. I ask myself, “Is this a time when I’m supposed to endure torture? If so, how, where and when can I best be tortured?” The school year is filled with necessary torture. The summer, by design, is not.
Now it’s stopped raining! The sun is – what a horror – shining! Okay, I just took a deep breath. Summer isn’t something to conquer. Husband made it to Moscow. Children are accounted for and so far as I can tell, well hydrated. After making a few phone calls which aren’t bad phone calls, but are still phone calls and I don ‘t want to make them, I’ve got man made air conditioning and a book. Keep calm and carry on.
Sometimes it is just good to bask in the sun. Or in your case in the air conditioning.
Bask, bask, bask. It's a good life.
Get out of my head.
Seriously. I could easily have written this post(only not so well), except for the husband in Moscow part, although I'm open to suggestions about how to accomplish that.
The world is set up for extroverts. The challenge for us, in living in an extrovert, alpha-mom world, is to not let it dictate how we see ourselves.
As we scurry about preparing for our trip starting tomorrow, I question my sanity. I have to leave the house absolutely clean everytime we travel. It's the 'clean underwear' scenerio … [whining] "if something happens and someone has to come into my house, I would just die" deal. Like, I'd care if I'm dead or injured and my house is in disarray. So, I too need to take a deep breath and be calm. I'm wearing myself out! [pant]
Anyway, that was charming. You are such an accomplished writer. Living by the ocean must be an inspiration.
CYA when we get back pal! Yeah, yeah, I'll take lots of pictures. [giggle]
I try to help out a little here or there. But… I know other way more alpha moms will pitch in if I do not.
I pick the best places to help that I know will impact my kids if I give them my time. For example, I volunteer at swim team which gets the coaches to give my kids more attention.
I will be volunteering at a couple of strategic things for band next fall to help my kids nail some fun band positions.
This is why people volunteer and coach …
There's nothing like some good ol fashioned lazin' around. Your bit about the sun reminds me of a hilarious line from Werner Herzog is his recent documentary, "Encounters at the Ends of the Earth". Filming on a bright day, he narrates, "I despise the sunlight on both my celluloid and my skin".
Well, it was more in the way he said it.
Keep calm and carry on. I like that. May become my new motto.
Pricilla, it's pretty funny it's been glorious out all day long. We filled up a baby pool for Lily, and I went outside and took some pictures. Still haven't gone to the mailbox. It's not the heat, it's the humidity, you know.
Vic, I'll work on getting your husband to Moscow. Perhaps we were separated at birth, except you're the funny one? Oh, I see myself as funny too no matter what anyone says. It's all relative
Sparky, Be calm and motor yourself out of dodge! Can't wait to see the photos
Hit40, picking and choosing is the way to go. I'm a big believer in projects that utilize one's unique gifts or get our children first chair
Shawn, sometimes the sun is like a personal affront. I prefer lazin in the shade. I'll have to check out Werner Herzog. He seems to speak as if from my mothership.
mother, you can buy reproductions of this poster a lot of places these days. I'd like to hang one over my bed. I've got the keep calm part nailed… it's the carry on that's giving me trouble.
What if you think of "carry on" as a noun instead of a verb? Just the essentials…cute small bag…nothing flammable…enough to get you through the day, and maybe a night, if things get wonky.
"Keep calm and carry on."
It's like "Serenity Now!!!" but, yanno, less Seinfeld-y. I like it.
Sounds to me like you've more than paid your dues, girlfriend. I, on the other hand, have no excuse for my slackiness.
But, as you point out, at least we can slack some stuff off without feeling guilty . . . no more cafeteria duty, committee meetings, parent-teacher sessions . . . for nearly three months.
I sit here lamenting the dreary weather on our first day of summer break… And secretly jump for joy that I get to read blogs all morning instead of pack lunches and sunscreen and head to the pool…
Dawn, I want a new carry on and a ticket to Albuquerque! Does that sound like a Partridge fam song?
lilu, exactly.
lawyermom, I'm losing the guilt, right this minute! Why I get it all the time remains a mystery. What's with that?
Rachel, I know this feeling well! Have a marvelous time secretly enjoying your morning
I love the "Keep Calm and Carry On". You can only live your life for You!