Forget Cowbell, Give Me Water Babies

"I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."
- J.D. Salinger

When I started Life in the Short Lane several months ago, I promised anyone who happened to read that I would spare them posts of the "when I lost my car keys" genre.

Words that would simultaneously evoke raucous laughter and provoke deep thought would flow as if from a faucet that could be turned on and off at will. Smart, witty people who rarely LOL would find themselves for the first time ever, ROFL. Even my mother would know what LOL and ROFL mean.

That disappointing "you had to be there" kind of letdown would not happen. And no one would have to worry that I would prattle about my childhood as if it were the singularly most important childhood to have ever been led.

"Astounding and staggering" would be oft used adjectives to describe my unique humor and optimism, skillfully intertwined with the gentlest of sarcasm. When I occasionally broke the rules of Strunk and White - because ya'll, you know, I'm only human- it would never be in violation of a rule more serious than confusing "your" and "you're". I insure you of this.

I'd also be confident enough that I wouldn't care if anyone read or not. And finally, I would have really good hair every day and look fabulous without makeup.

Someday, most of these things will be true.

Margo xxx ooo

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