One Slope at a Time: A Mother’s Case for Converting the Slovenly Drunken Masses
“University Ski Slope Aims to Bring People to Christ,” read the headline in the national news.
After two months of national media attention on South Carolina over Mark Sinford-gate, my first reaction was, please don’t let this be in South Carolina.
Turns out it’s not in South Carolina. The first synthetic ski slope in North America has gone to Liberty University located in Lynchburg, Virginia.
Before you get carried away picturing a region of lovely snow-capped mountains, I want to mention that Lynchburg isn’t in that part of Virginia. At mostly 795 feet above sea level, the gentle rolling landscape of Lynchburg, sees an average of only 18 inches of snow per year. That means many years there is much less than that.
These days Lynchburg is perhaps best known nationally as the home of Liberty University which was founded by the late Reverend Jerry Falwell.
According to this article, Chancellor Jerry Falwell, son of the late Falwell, at the grand opening said that it was his father’s hope that a campus ski slope would bring more students to Liberty University and to Christ. He described several relatively unorthodox techniques the university had used in the past to attract students, such as having campus dorms located on an island in the middle of the James River. Then there was this:
“Alumni from the ’70s tell me they came here because Dad had this big DC-3 World War II airplane that he used to take students around in … they came here to ride on the plane,”
Snowflex, the company that constructed synthetic snow system, bills its product as offering something similar to a street sport, but with more thrill and less risk. The slopes can be built anywhere and used year round.
Among the many adjectives used to tout Snowflex’s viability as a successful business operation, these two caught my attention;
Addictive and Age- Inclusive
Reminds me of a certain beverage favored among college students that is:
Addictive and Age-Exclusive
(not to mention illegal, double dare so, at a Baptist University)
Before I go on, I should mention that I am not a Baptist. Underage drinking is a problem, but I think for a vast majority of college students there are many other things that should also give a parent pause.
Here are two confessions:
I would rather my child drink a Budweiser before flying around on a plane with Reverend Jerry Falwell.
Without going into the unpleasant details, I have personal experience that has fostered my unique concerns about anything where one loses friction. This includes skiing. I’d rather my children do a few tequila shots in college than go anywhere near a ski slope, real or not. I’d rather they not even watch cold weather sports on television. This may be irrational, but it is true.
In the article, Falwell the younger refers to the university’s philosophy of “saturation evangelism,” which is meant to reach every person, by every means. The term is often used in association with mass mailings.
Then he said this:
“We really believe they can have just as much fun without binge parties and coed dorms.”
Do I hear singing? It’s a choir! Of evangelical parents-of already evangelical kids who, if their goal is to saturate, perhaps should expand their reach far beyond a fake ski slope and Alcatraz-isolated dorm rooms.
I get it though. Hey, a college needs students, and have I got a plan for Liberty University:
How about recruiting potential transfer students from the slovenly drunken masses at other universities across the country? Student and professional recruiters alike could canvas fraternity parties offering ski passes, backside 180 lessons and whatever other rocking good times they have up their sleeves. Liberty students could score extra credit for each slovenly drunk who is successfully transferred.
As the mother of two daughters who will someday be in college, clearly, this is the perfect solution.
If this doesn’t work out, perhaps someone knows of a school with the girls’ dorms on an island?
I see drunken ski slope mishaps in my crystal ball…
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I, too, would rather my kid drink a little than be on a slippery slope. [smile]
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More fun than a coed dorm? Somebody’s drinking kool-aid and it’s spiked.
.-= phd in yogurtry´s last blog ..he who hesitates is los loserface =-.
You know, I just got really anxious thinking about coed dorms and my kids. I never was in one. I have no point of reference. ACK.
.-= phd in yogurtry´s last blog ..he who hesitates is los loserface =-.
We never had anything this good at my college – no planes, or fake skiing (or beer, either, officially).
We did have a mens dorm that was clear up a hill, isolated and in the trees. It was spooky, and so were the guys that chose to live there.
Wow! Good post Margo. I don’t have school/college age kids anymore but I’m so glad that when I did, there was less of the on campus over drinking going on.
.-= Jane Gaston´s last blog ..The $200,000 Check =-.
Hilarious and right on point. It’s been all over the Richmond papers. You put it in just the right context too.
Can’t you just stay in the dorm with them?
.-= Heather Kephart´s last blog ..Blogger… =-.
I went to school in Lynchburg (NOT at Liberty) and sometimes the Liberty students would come onto our campus for a lecture or debate (usually centering around abortion or atheism). They weren’t allowed to date without a chaperone or go to a movie. But they NEVER mentioned that War plane! Snap! So that’s why they were there!
.-= The Lawyer Mom´s last blog ..Forgive Me Fellow Bloggers, For I Must Barf =-.
The comments are a riot!!
… can’t I stay in the dorm with them!!! LMAO!! Very good.
Saturation Evangelism??
.-= Eileen´s last blog ..What Else Can We do? =-.
skiing and Christ. The only connection for me is when I’m falling down on that thing and yelling, Christ, what the heck did I just do to my hip?”
.-= jessica´s last blog ..Let’s Talk….Period =-.
This is a perfect example of the “magic” of evangelism. “Pay no attention to all the things that don’t make sense about what I say… OHHH HEY LET’S GO SKIING!!”
.-= mobius´s last blog ..Check Engine Light =-.
You all crack me up. thanks for that. My eldest turned 17 today. What’s with that? I can’t wait to go live with her at college and not go skiing together.
There was a guy a grade or two below me who was impaled by his ski my freshman year in college so I can understand the aversion. As for Jerry Falwell, isn’t he the guy who went after one of the Teletubbies for being gay? If so, I can see why you’d prefer the Budweiser.
I gave you an award on my blog. You can pick it up here: http://www.justbloggled.com/2009/09/i-love-lucys-bees-knees-and-my-bengay.html. Congrats.
I am on board with the girls ONLY school on a secluded island. I also would rather my girls NOT end up in a plane with the late Jerry Falwell.
Great post. I have a feeling this ski slope idea is not going to pan out well for them.
Thank you for your kind words about my G’ma.
.-= Busy Bee Suz´s last blog ..Some days are just better than others. =-.
Yeah, if you want college students, a campus bar seems more likely to draw them in than a ski slope.
Perhaps Mr. Falwell can secede from Virginia and lower the drinking age.
.-= The Mother´s last blog ..Patria Potestas =-.