Random Thoughts on The Bono

The other night at the U2 concert in Raleigh, NC, I twittered that in my next life I called getting to be Bono. Not Sonny Bono (Wil!), but The Bono. I felt silly even thinking it, but the thought just hit me as I watched him being his Bono-self, running around the stage with a little boy he plucked from the audience during the song City of Blinding Lights.

Way down there on this 360 degree stage -which really was cool because even in a semi-nosebleed section, we could see pretty well – Bono looked so alive. He’s got his art, adoring fans, noble causes, tons of energy, and ineffable charisma. Now this morning all I can think about is that besides the fact that we share the same last letter in our names, I can’t think of one thing we have in common.

1. He’s Irish. I’m American

2. He’s male. I’m female.

3. He hides behind sunglasses. I hide in my house.

4. He’s ridiculously famous. I’m famously ridiculous

5. He wore a leather jacket for U2’s entire two and a half hour set and made no indication of wanting to remove it. If the thermostat is set above 67 degrees and I’m so much as breathing while doing something as intensive as watching television, I will start shedding clothing layers.

6. He entertains millions. I entertain myself and my dog. Sometimes I may entertain my family. I used to anyway.

7. He doesn’t visit Myrtle Beach. I live there.

8. He sings well. I don’t sing well.

9. People stand up and cheer when Bono walks in a room or onto the stage. Because I’m perimenopausal and female, I, on occasion walk in a room, sit down and cry. The world is my stage!

10. As evidenced by his spontaneous Messiah-like gestures and attachment to his sunglasses, he may have a touch of unhealthy narcissism or insecurity. I do not have unhealthy narcissism. My narcissism is healthy, and keeps me from scaring young children with an ill-advised make-up free look. And in contrast to Bono, I  have a slight touch of security.

So, I take it back that I call being Bono in my next life. First, I don’t believe in reincarnation.  And now that I’ve had a couple of days to think about it, I don’t think I’d be very happy as a member of U2 in heaven except in the most basic Guitar Hero kind of way.  If you would be, it’s all yours. Go ahead and call it.

If I had to choose a boy band, I’d definitely go a little younger – not too young like the Jonas Brothers or anything sick like that, and then only if I HAD to. I’d much rather be in a girl band in heaven made up of every best friend I’ve had since I was 3. We’d all be 5’ 10”, speak in various and lovely foreign accents and would play nice, and not just in the literal way on our instruments. We take turns being lead singer – being The Bono. Our other friends and family could come to our concerts. They’d be famous too. Depending only on our moods we could wear fuzzy sweaters and suede boots or bikinis.

We’d cheer when each other entered the room.

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